So its been a while since I've last blogged. I've had a lot going on, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, moving on to today's blog, I have a question for you guys. Is it possible to date friends?So I've being doing a lot of praying lately about my future and the direction God wants to take my life in. Still not too sure whether the answers I'm hearing are from him, or my own self getting in the way. But I was told that God delivers actions not words, so I'm getting out of his way and letting him guide me where HE needs me to go.
So picture me, sitting back with my new found commitment to get out of Gods way and let him lead me through life to the career he wants me to grow in, the life he wants me to lead, and the man he would have me be a helpmate to for the rest of my life, and spend all of eternity with, and then things begin to line up. Granted I'm no where near close to all God has in store for me, but some things are beginning to take shape. But I'm at a bit of a crossroads. I know that there are trials and test we all go through in order to be ready to receive what God has for us, and its up to us to cipher through the weeds and pick out the flowers.
The past couple of days have been really dynamic in terms of my "dating" life. I decided to let go of things/people that were not good for me in order to make room in my life for things/people who are. In doing so, possibilities have come out of nowhere. Some old, some new, all confusing. Which is why I've posed this question to you all, maybe you can help me figure it out. Do you date the guy you've known for years, wait for the guy that's complicated to get "un-complicated", or try something new with the guy you're not too sure about?????
Each choice has some pro's and con's as far as I know. Trying something new with the new guy may be fun, but may also mean lowering my standards. Waiting for the guy that's complicated to "un-complicate" himself may not be beneficial, or bring about anything, but he's more my speed and idea of what I'm looking for. And then there is the guy I've know forever. The good thing about him is that I've known him forever, but that's also his downside. Yeah you may know each other pretty well, but you know each other pretty well lol. So how is it that people who fall in love with their old friends manage to do that. It all seems pretty complicated if you ask me. There is such a thing as knowing too much about someone. Its one thing to live off of things you tell each other, but its another thing to have first hands accounts of what really went on. So I ask the question. Is it really safe or beneficial to date a friend???????
Leave me your comments and opinions.
4 comments:
Well "Cuz" my opinion is going to be totally out of the box and breaking ALL rules.
I found myself facing the same dilemma 20 years ago. We all want what God wants for us, but exactly what is that? Everyone has an opinion of what that is, and some even offer their opinion as a statement of fact :).
However, if I knew THEN what I know NOW, I would do a few things differently in the area of waiting for Mr. Right.... So here goes 20 years of experience speaking...
First of all, what is it about the "old friend" that you like/love? Hopefully there is attraction that is definable. None of that "he makes me feel good when I'm around him" goes stuff. It's a great concept that a good husband should first start off as a good friend. But I have to wonder why you haven't dated him yet if he's THAT good (there's probably a reason if you search deep inside of yourself)...
Okay, unless you're a licensed psychologist/psychiatrist (and able to prescribe meds), or otherwise clinician willing to take on a "clinical complication" waiting for complicated to become uncomplicated is like waiting for white to turn black... Even if its possible, why would you? What's the goal? Why him? What are any redeeming factors that make this complication worth waiting for? There may be very good answers to those questions, and if there are then GREAT!
Last option: Wait... Well, experience says that it's far more easier said than done! Good luck with that.
In the meanwhile, with the careful guidance of the almighty, live... That means exactly that--live! Stop waiting for something to happen before you allow something to happen. Stop waiting for someone to come along before you start living.
I always tell my children--To thine ownself be true. As long as you are true to you, no one else needs an explanation. So if you decide to spend time with people, don't immediately or automatically begin sizing them up for "happily ever after." Start with "happily today." God knows your heart and everything else about you. Sometimes he's more permissive than people are. People require and demand explanation so that their conscience can be settled. But you're now living for "people" are you?
Okay, that's enough for now. Let's see how you digest that much :)
Now about that "job" thing... Are you willing to relocate? Specifically, are you willing to relocate to Michigan?
@ Elsie, I agree with most of everything you said. I especially loved the "waiting for complicated to become uncomplicated is like waiting for white to turn black" line.... I think I use that :). But I think that questions like these are what makes living life and growing into 'adulthood' so fun. Knowing when God is speaking to you, and when you're speaking too loud to hear him. But as my mom said, I'm young and I have a lot of living left to do, so I'm enjoying myself as long as I can.
At the end of the day, I'm just gonna go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. While staying as far out of my own way to recognize my blessings when they come...not just in terms of relationships, but life in general. So yes when it comes to work, I am definitely willing to relocate for the right opportunity. I think I have an up to date copy of my resume on here if you have something in mind :) :) :).....
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