Like I said, I'm sitting here talking with my mom, and I asked her, "can we really blame young men for the inability to do things, (i.e. wash dishes, clothes, shovel snow, fill up gas tanks, change a tire, mow the lawn, take out the trash, open a door, start a BBQ Grill, clean gutters, change car oil every 3000 miles, or even know where the guy is that changes it) I mean I can really go on and on with a list of things I have, or haven't been experiencing out of men I have interacted with, and a many of the men around me. But whose fault is that really? I mean sure we can at the end of the day blame it solely on young men, but is that fair? I'm not too sure.
Granted more and more men are growing up in homes where there are no men there to teach them how to be GOOD men, but at some point they have to take responsibility for who they are, and the men they will become. But on the other hand, I had to think, if I were a man that had a woman to do everything for me, or one that didn't require I do all the 'though' or daunting tasks associated with male gender roles, HELL, I wouldn't do it either.
But who do you really blame, or credit if that makes you more comfortable, for this behavior. Yeah, the easy answer is the men that don't do anything. But perhaps the more accurate answer, or at least the one that should be explored, is the women that allow this behavior, encourage it, and later reward it. I hate to be redundant, or repeat what people like Hill Harper and Steve Harvey say all the time, but it is so true. Men would not engage in behavior that women didn't condone. But its difficult for women not to condone or tolerate certain behaviors or actions, when so many different women will and do. So ponder on that, and think again. Who is really to blame/credit?
You think about the different men in your life, be them romantic interest or relatives, that don't live up to your expectations or society's. Then think about the women in their lives. Have they or you encouraged and rewarded less then standard behaviors?
1 comment:
As a mother of a African-American young man these are the types of questions I am plagued with constantly. I believe whole heartedly... That it takes two parental figures to attempt to raise a child together.
When an absentee fathers & women head households are the norm. I pose this question to you- Is it fair to expect a woman to turn a boy into a man?
I mean she can try, she can read books, she can pray to ask God for guidance. However, at the end of the day it is my opinion that lone woman will come up short.
Granted, we all know of those situations where guys grew up in with single moms and are perfectly well adjusted. We all have been witness to those situations were males were raised in two parent households and are hot steaming messes. However, if you take a look at society as a whole you will see more examples such as those to be an exception rather than the rule.
So "Are mother's to blame for negligent men?" I guess so if you discount the fact that there wasn't a man to offer her any aid and assistance.
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